It’s the third week of our Spiritual Emphasis Month. I am enjoying this practice so much. I am a 91% introvert according to Myers-Briggs and I thought I have no problems with being silent or quieting my soul only to know I do. Shocker!
Here’s the thing, I have no problems with lowering the volume of the external voices. I don’t engage in social media and if I do, it’s short and quick. I don’t go scrolling on YouTube and I binge on Netflix only when my favorite series have new seasons. I have a shortlist of podcasts I listen to and an even shorter list of people I text with on my messaging apps. Except for text messages and important calls, all my phone notifications are disabled. Important people in my life know how to reach me when they are in an emergency.
In the eyes of a regular bystander looking from outside, I have a boring life. But wait, there’s more.
Have you ever seen the animated movie “Inside Out”? My internal world is way more chaotic than that. It’s a roller coaster ride y’all! When the pandemic hit the world, it was quiet outside but it got louder inside. I even had my first “real” anxiety attack complete with tremors! Who thought I’d have those. I’ve always been calm and collected, so I thought ?
I’ve always wrestled with quieting the inner chatter. It’s like a constant dripping faucet. Before I even know it, my internal pond is flooding and instead of it being a soothing, quiet brook, it’s roaring like a storming sea. Then, when I am caught in the tidal waves of contradicting emotions, I am surprised.
So, yes, this practice is much needed in my life.
Third week and I am getting it.
Reading Psalm 27 in this manner is like savoring a favorite meal after a 3-day full fast. Dormant taste buds are activated and you notice the different flavours in the appetizer alone.
And since I started with the analogy of a 3-course meal, I might as well organize my thoughts in the form of a triad (which I most often do anyway).
Among the three imageries of the Lord, I am most drawn to the imagery of Him as my LIGHT in this season of my life.
“The Lord is my revelation-light to guide me along the way; He’s the source of my salvation to defend me every day.” (v1, TPT)
How was God light to me in the past?
How is God being light to me today?
How will God be light to me tomorrow?
In the past
God saved me. He is the God of my salvation! The Lord took me in. He adopted me into His family. I became His daughter. He mothered me. He fathered me. He nurtured me (and He still does). He protected me (and He still does).
I can go on and tell stories of God coming through for me in moments of unemployment, betrayal, heartbreaks, relationship breakdowns, poverty, financial distress and the emotional turmoil that go with it, sickness, shame, death, everything – but I’ll save it for later when we’re more comfortable with each other and can gulp or sip Doppios together.
God, the Light, who guided me through it all. He pointed me to His highway. In the darkest seasons, He directed me along a well-lighted street (v11, MSG) even though I wasn’t even aware I was walking along a well-lighted path because all I could see that time is thick darkness.
“My father and mother abandoned me. I’m like an orphan! But you took me in and made me yours.” (v10, TPT)
In the present
He is the Light who guides me in my decision-making, studying, and ministering to others.
He turns on the spotlight in the hidden areas of my life so I can find healing. He is the floodlight that illumines the buried shame so I can live delivered and freed. He flicked the switch lights on in my mind so I can think more Christlike and carry on heaven’s priorities in my daily practice.
God is the Light who guides me to the right resources for my growth, the right people to become my friends, the right church to become my spiritual family, the right women be ministered with and to minister to, the right institution to study at, and the right preparations for His specific assignment for me.
In my doubts, worries, faithlessness, and sin, He invites me to trust Him and to abide in Him. He invites me for a deeper connection with Him.
So, I respond to His invitation – “Yes, Lord, I seek Your face. I’m seeking Your face with all my heart.”
“He teaches me all about His ways and tells me what to do. He makes it clear for me to understand, for I am surrounded by waiting enemies.” (v11, TPT)
In the future
I don’t know what my afternoon will be like. I can’t possibly know what tomorrow holds. But this I know – all that did not make sense then and all that are not making sense now, He will make sense of it.
He will right every wrong, wipe every tear, and restore all things.
For now, I have enough light for the step I am on.
I believe “I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! I wait for the Lord; I will be strong, and I let my heart take courage. I wait for the Lord.” (vv13-14, ESV). “I will stay with God. I’ll say it again, I will stay with God“. (vv13-14, MSG).
“Here’s what I’ve learned through it all: Don’t give up; don’t be impatient; be entwined as one with the Lord. Be brave and courageous, and never lose hope. Yes, keep on waiting – for He will never disappoint you.” (v14, TPT)
The Lord is my Light.
His name is Jesus Christ!